It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

We’ve all heard the phrase: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” That couldn’t be truer when it comes to job interviews.

As recruiters, we often meet talented candidates who unintentionally hurt their chances because of how they talk about past employers or challenges. The line between being honest and being negative is thin, and hiring managers pay close attention.

When a candidate speaks poorly about a past employer or dwells on frustration, it can raise red flags. Companies worry that:

• You might bring that negativity into the new role.

• Confidentiality or professionalism could be an issue.

• The story reflects more about your outlook than the workplace itself.

Even if your experience was difficult (and let’s be real, many of us have been there), the way you talk about it shapes how others see you, especially if it is their first impression.

How to Reframe Challenges in Work History

When asked about challenges or difficult environments, the key is to share your experience in a way that highlights what you learned and how you’ve grown. For example, instead of saying “my manager was terrible at communication,” you could frame it as “that experience taught me the importance of clear communication, and I’ve built strong habits to make sure I don’t run into the same challenges with my team.”

If you worked somewhere that wasn’t a cultural fit, avoid calling it “toxic.” A more professional approach is to explain that “the environment wasn’t the best fit for me, but it helped me understand the kind of culture where I do my best work.” This keeps the focus on your values and preferences, not on criticizing the company.

Even workload struggles can be reframed. Instead of saying “I had too much on my plate, and they didn’t care,” you might explain, “it was a demanding role that taught me time management, prioritization, and how to ask for support when needed.” Same situation, completely different impression.

What About Layoffs or Being Let Go?

If you’ve been laid off, be honest and concise. Layoffs happen for many reasons outside of your control. A simple statement like “My role was eliminated as part of a company-wide restructuring” is enough. No need to over-explain.

If you were let go for performance or fit, keep the focus on what you learned and how you’ve grown since then. For example: “That experience helped me recognize the kind of environment where I can succeed, and I’ve since developed skills that set me up for stronger results.” The key is to show resilience and forward momentum, not defensiveness.

Challenges in the workplace are inevitable. What matters in an interview is showing that you can reflect, adapt, and grow. Remember, it’s not about sugarcoating your story. You can still communicate challenges with professionalism, balance, and a forward-looking mindset. That’s the difference between raising concerns and raising eyebrows.

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